Re Solving the Future

Widows face unique and challenging obstacles as they progress through the process of grief in search of their future. For however many years they spent building their lives with their husbands, the vision and embodiment of the future was a combination of their entwined dreams incorporating the two of them together living out that future. When death invades and removes the husband, the surviving widow is faced with resolving— that is re-solving — or solving all over from scratch, what her future will be.

Everyone wants to experience a full and healthy life. When you spend nearly all your adult life and most of your existence in the company of your husband, naturally your dreams and expectations for the future were built combining the passions and strengths of both people to fashion a vision you shared. It was stretched between you as you each clutched to hold it up. Removing one of the poles sends the canvass falling to the ground, no longer visible.

Where there is no vision, the people perish.

Proverbs 29: 18

Widows face the daunting task of finding a new future… void of the person they counted on to share the unknown. They must figure out how to describe themselves – no longer a wife, no longer a part of a couple. They have to consider the likelihood of keeping the future they always dreamed… is it even possible… will it still bring fulfillment… could it be altered—or should it be left on the heap of loss.

I still don’t know what I want my future to look like. I’m learning I need to heal enough from the trauma of loss. I needed to start slowly. In the beginning it was breath by breath. Eventually I could make it step by step—quite literally making my feet move one step forward at a time. After a while I could sometimes plan something a little into the future… though it was hesitantly. I tried some things that worked. I tried things that didn’t. I would plan something and completely forget I did. I would want to do something and find I didn’t have the courage when the time came. It was like groping around in the dark and constantly stubbing my toe.

Within your heart you can make plans for your future, but the Lord chooses the steps you take to get there.

Proverbs 16: 9

We make plans and set goals to turn dreams into action steps. The best plan I can make right now is to seek God for guidance and ask Him to direct my path. I feel like a toddler learning how to walk and keep falling down. It’s like my legs are still trying out new muscles that need to grow strong. I need to trust God to help me have the courage to keep getting back up and trying to walk again. 

Your future is bright and filled with a living hope that will never fade away. As you listen to Me, My beloved child, you will grow in wisdom and your heart will be drawn into understanding, which will empower you to make right decisions.

Proverbs 23: 18-19

Please pray with me.

Father God, please help guide and protect us as we adopt new ways of living in this world as we adapt to life without our beloved husband. Show us the future You planned for us… a future filled with hope. Please comfort and heal our hearts. Reveal the desires and gifts You created in us and make clear our dreams. Help us find the right people and resources to encourage and promote these dreams. Give us the courage and fortitude to pursue them with passion and give You all the glory and honor. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.